I was happy to see people expressing their thoughts. I was particularly happy with Nocas’ and Patinha’s comments. And also especially happy because even people that I don’t know left their opinion.

This was exactly what I wanted from this post.

First I want to make a public apology to my friend Vanda whom I mention in the previous post. I made a mistake by saying that she called people idiots when in fact that was just what I felt she was saying. She criticized the book and the people who bought it and that led me to feel hurt and offended by it (she is one of the very few people who’s opinion is actually very important to me). The fact is that, at the time as well as now, I think the important thing is that people do things, and not their methods (as long as they don’t hurt anybody). I must say that Vanda stopped smoking as well a couple of month ago without the book and that she has been using her will power to do it (It didn’t work for me though). I wish we both look back in 30 years and think how silly we were until we stopped smoking.

After the apologies, the comments. After a few comments I realised that I achieved what I wanted with this post: to make people talk about it and change opinions. It is not my intention to say that this is wrong and that is right. The only thing I can do is give my opinion as well. I wanted to write about my experiences in England so that both cultures could learn a bit more about each other (not despising the fact that I am Portuguese and that I will always prefer my country). What I didn’t know was that smoking would be the first subject.

I was happy to see Nocas’ comment because she was the first to mention what I wrote in the post: ‘Is it a matter of how smokers and non smokers think?’ And Patinha mentioned that Mediterranean people have similar cultures and that they are very different from the remaining countries. My opinion is: It has to do with everything. I think the main reason is that smokers and non smokers do think differently as Nocas said. Most of my English friends never smoked. They don’t know how it is to be addicted and so they see the health adverts (whilst smokers avoid them) and when they finally realise you are not killing your self anymore they are truly happy. Smokers however know how it is to be addicted. Most of them have tried to quit and failed. So they are a bit more cynical when someone stops. They will believe it after you’ve been a non smoker for 30 years and have not gone back to smoking. The fact that smoking is less accepted in England than it is in Portugal plays an important role ( I felt even less comfortable here for being a smoker. One one hand I felt more miserable about smoking, on the other I felt less compiled to quit because they were always nagging me). And that the fact that countries like Portugal and Spain are more relaxed and less strict than England is also true. So I think in the end everything is important.

I was even happier to see that people I don’t know also left a comment. I will translate part of it and reply here (please forgive me if I make mistakes and let me know).

Paulo congratulates me as I think it is important to me that people do so. He never smoked and says that people need motivation and will power to stop. Maybe mine was the book but it was also up to me. He agrees that self aid books make their authors rich at the cost of people with low self esteem. He also says that the difference in attitude is not the culture but the differences between smokers and non smokers.

Bruno asks if I think it was the book or my will power that made stop and asks me to explain better what the differences in reactions between the Portuguese and the English were (I believe I answered that above). He thinks that there are many differences between cultures. Especially when Americans and English are concerned. ( I agree. They seem to be very proud of that. But that will be commented on later posts). He finishes by saying that he wishes that he also stops smoking.

About the book. As I said before I never believed in these books. To be honest I still don’t. I assume the same as many other people: they are there to take advantage of people with low self esteem. I decided to read this one because I tried to stop smoking many times before and failed. And after hearing so many people saying it works and it was actually easy I became curious. Lets be honest, the reason why so many smokers fail to quit is because it is hard! And the majority goes to hell and back with the withdrawal pangs. And they eventually give up and go back to smoking. These people and this book were saying that it worked exactly because it was easy to quit. I was curious. As I said I am analysing the psychology behind the success of the book. As Russ said, the book said nothing that I didn’t actually know. And as I read it I realise that the author uses psychology to convince the reader that he will actually stop and convinces him that it will be easy! To the point that at the end of the book we actually believe it is easy and feel it is easy, removing the fear of pain that made us not be successful before. Don’t people pay as well to go to appointments with psychiatrists (and a lot more that £10) so that they can help them with their depressions and other problems in life? The doctor doesn’t tell you you are depressed and that you have to get out of it. You know that already! That is why you went there in the first place! In each session he leads you to find the ways to deal with it. And makes you see things differently. And to make your way out of your problems. And that is what the book does. It is like an approach to psychology by an amateur who read a bit about it and applied it to stop smoking. Yes it was the fact that I wanted to stop that made me stop. But it was the book that made it a lot easier for me and that made me not be miserable at every second because I want a cigarette and I can’t have it.

Quitting smoking is a very important step in our life. It may actually save it! And when I say your friends should give you support it is precisely because it is a very important step. And I think most people agree with me when I say support from you closest friends is very important and that if they do the opposite, it makes things a lot more difficult. It is not important for me that people I don’t know congratulate me. It is important for me that my close friends are happy for me and tell me that. No need to have a party but a few words are always nice.

I am not saying that I believe in these books and that I am going to buy all of them and all my problems will be solved. But if someone says that a book is good I will wait until I read it to make my mind about it and judge for my self if it’s good or not. This one helped me and in the end that is what I find important:I did stop! And again, I’m not saying you should buy it. I just left my experience here and want people to share their opinions. That is how we learn.

Keep commenting!